“I am not going to dive back in to this relationship with things the way they are,” said the confident and victorious young woman who had made the bold move to refrain from sexual pleasures, or favors, outside of the covenant of marriage. Her boundaries in tact, she displayed a glowing countenance of freedom – that she never knew existed. This proclamation seemed more real than anything I had heard from her.
Her presenting problem was boundary issues that left her hanging at the end of her rope, desperate to find out why she continually gets stuck there. During sessions she became familiar with Almighty God bringing revelation, and how Holy Spirit, as the Counselor, effectively uncovered some obvious bitter roots that were growing as a result of the foundational lies modeled by her parents during her first years of life. In this tangled mess we found vows based on judgments against her parents. One of which was to never be like them. The way we judge, we will be judged.
She was beginning to look straight in to the face of the reality that her choices had proven that she will certainly reap what she sows. So during the process of inner healing she began forgiving her parents. Forgive, and your forgiven. Quite naturally, we then dealt with the inner vows and soul ties that needed to be renounced, thereby, releasing her from, what would have been, life-long bondage’s.
With her new-found freedom she was able to define her current adulterous relationship as toxic, chaotic, and abhorrent to God. Her countenance was glowing with the sense that chains were falling off, and…liberation for the first time. At this divine moment I began encouraging her and speaking life in to her, and as I did she lifted her head, revealing her tears, she confessed: “He wants to show me where to dive.” I prayed and Holy Spirit gave me the word “diving board,”and I was to ask her what that means to her.
After a long pause I heard, “I’m in the locker room thinking, I’m not going to dive in. The water could be very cold. I could end up doing a belly flop. Don’t want to go near the diving board. The pool doesn’t give me fear – it’s the decision to use the diving board, or not.”
When I asked her the meaning she took me back to childhood, swimming in her grandma’s pool, and the love of the diving board. She was on the swim team, and mom called her the “little mermaid.” She realized those are good memories and the diving board was fun. From there, Jesus took over, and revealed to her the danger of her current relationship – that is void of fun. “Void of fun,” was key. It opened her heart to hear Jesus speaking for Father God, “Being stuck there, on the edge, is not even who you were created to be. My desire for you is that diving would be natural and without fear.”
Deep within her inmost being she had always struggled with relationships. Living on the edge, toes curled over – in the fear of not knowing what will happen. I went on to remind her that in that position it’s hard to hear Holy Spirit because our spirit begins to slumber. “Wake up, oh sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will give you life” (Ehp.5:14).
A slumbering spirit is not comfortable slumbering because its original intent is to welcome Holy Spirit in to that place where we struggle. But when there is sin our spirit slumbers – in that area. Like the feeling we get with hunger pains: needing something to ingest to keep us going. As soon as we address the sin, Holy Spirit fills that hollowness and teaches how to dive without needing to live on the edge.
As we further discussed this I watched Holy Spirit working in her, and suddenly we found ourselves back in the locker room . When I asked what (we) were doing there, “I feel like I have the choice to pick up my purse and leave.” She realized that she had become stagnant in her spirit, and now she knew why. She had chosen to wake up, to rise from the dead, and let Christ give her life. Life abundant, rather cramping her toes (in anguish) wondering whether to dive or not. She was now diving in to the will of God. Joyous and incredible moment!
LouiseZ